I was really challenged by my friend Becky a couple of weeks back, about how some of the push factors from big church stuff could make me bitter and judgemental. I have a tendency to excuse myself and think that judgement is a kind of wisdom (the grit that makes the pearl in the oyster, painful but necessary) and that implied criticism of other people's ways of doing things just goes with the territory of trying to pioneer something.
And I also heard another word, just in the flow of conversation with Aaron Lincoln, and not about me, but boy did I feel the Spirit give me a kick when I heard it, and the word was: disgruntled. And I have a bit of disgruntled martyrdom in my DNA, for sure.
So I found this video from Floyd McClung really helpful in dealing with the stuff that goes on in my heart.
Here are a few bits that jumped out at me and chimed with my ears.
I think one of the things that we really want to be careful about is not being proud … critical, thinking we’ve discovered something brand new...or sometimes we feel we’ve got to criticise the old to justify the new...Walk humbly, walk submissively in our heart, stay in fellowship with conventional churches, stay connected to established churches, don't get isolated.... I think there is a place for large conventional churches with lots of resources... stay humble and stay connected with the rest of the body of Christ... Focus on the word, focus on Jesus...
Another thing that shed some light came to me when I was listening to Radio 4 on the way back home from work last week. The article was talking about the German economy, and how it's been doing comparatively better than the UK's, and why that might be. And I'm no economist, but I think it said that there were more small and medium-sized, family-run manufacturing businesses in Germany, and that they were successful in making stuff that the world wants, and were on the front foot in winning export markets. Which got me thinking about the bigger picture, of simple churches and mega churches and everything in between.
Because there are times when I make bread at home. And it's good, and time-consuming in a therapeutic way, all that kneeding and pummelling and getting poppy seeds in. Sometimes it's also a treat to go round the corner to pick up a loaf from Oliver Adams. Sure, it's a chain and not some artisan bakery, but their crusty wholemeal loaf is delicious (although it makes me laugh that they've invented this clunky label combicorn to describe it, because to me combicorn sounds like a mythical beast.) But mostly, we eat the mass-produced Kingsmill that we get from Asda, Sainsburys or even (though it pains me to say it), T**co. Because life's like that.
I guess I started to understand, that for different people, at different stages in their lives, and for different reasons, different kinds of church serve different purposes. It's not a control economy, like the old Soviet systems I read about at bedtime, it's a mixed economy. You get that this is just a picture to help me understand and keep judgmental thoughts and bitterness in check, I'm not trying to be strategic or think of the Kingdom or the church's part in that as just any other kind of organisation or even business.
So I thought I'd google mixed economy and from the wiki entry I figured it's actually more technical than I'd twigged. And it was also a bit ironic to find that Mixed Economy was also the title of a journal about Fresh Expressions (I'm trying not to wince) published by the Church of England back in 2008/9.
So that's how behind the times I am.
